i am a flower

by S.Foster

I
am a delicate flower
waiting to be plucked
like so many fresh daisies

You
are a gentle spring rain
seeding the earth with love and affection

Your beauty
is beyond compare

I
only wish to
experience your love
once

now how's about that blowjob?

THE END

Dude, the Cure Rock

By S.Foster

The Cure: Robert Smith
rocks unbelievably hard
England represent

jinkies

by S.Foster

The guy
in the mask
is the one
who did it.

Trust me.

I've seen every episode.

Even the Globetrotters one.

And the Sonny and Cher spectacular.

humpyhump

by S.Foster

...hump
...hump
...humpity hump

things that go hump in the night

...hump
...hump
...hump
...humpity
...humpity
...humpity

spooge

THE END

Give Me A Cookie

By S.Foster (with assistance from R.Adkins)

Give me a cookie
and I'll leave you alone

Give me a cookie
and I'll leave you alone

Give me a fuckin' cookie
and I'll leave you the fuck alone.

An Ode to Lube

By S.Foster

Lube
O wondrous lube
How do I love thee?

You grease my wiener
when she is dry
You make sex so fun
with your slip 'n' slide

O lube
How can I repay thee?
Will a buck fifty do?

THE END

creativity flowing like a thing that flows

"Hoo-Hoo"
by S.Foster

Show me your hoo-hoo
and I'll show you my wingding

Oh, wait, that's sexual harrassment
isn't it?

How about, instead of "doctor",
we play "lawyer and litigant"?

THE END

blinded by the light

"What" by S.Foster

Can I get a what, what?
Can I get a what, what?

Man this is stupid.
And to think, Jay-Z got Beyonce with this shit.
I'm sure I could go stupider.

It wouldn't be easy, but I could do it.

THE END

"Jimmy Snuka" by S.Foster

Superfly
Jimmy Snuka

Got coked up
and killed a hooka.

Okay, she wasn't a hooka,
but she did die,
and the WWF did cover it up.

And he was coked up.

THE END

inspiration seems to be the hardest word

or is that "sorry"? or more likely, "erection".

"If You Have Sex With Me" by S. Foster

If you have sex with me,
I promise I won't tell anyone.
It would probably be embarrassing on both ends.

Mostly yours, though.

THE END

smell the literary quality!

poems from the heart, or lower

"Dude, Sting Was The Man" by S. Foster

Dude, back in the day
Sting, you know, Sting? From the Police?
Dude, he was the man.

Now, not so much.

THE END

more poetry from the master

"The Man from Nantucket" by S. Foster
(with credit to Anonymous)

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt, I'd fuck it.

THE END

Thanks, everybody. You've been great.

New Blog

This is an idea that Clinton J. Orr came up with, after seeing some of my work.

Blame him.

POEM #1

"Sometimes" by S. Foster

Sometimes
You have to say
"Put the goat down."

THE END

POEM #2

"If I Could Be a Tree" by S. Foster

If I could be a tree
I'd probably be an elm.

THE END

POEM #3

"Big League Chew" by S. Foster

You know what I haven't had in a while?
Big League Chew.

THE END

Send hate mail here